Instructions for When You Feel That Your Head Is About to Explode

1) Rub two “Number 2” pencils together
until you’ve worn a sort of saddle in each,
exposing the graphite center.
2) Glue the saddle sides together carefully, forming
a crucifix.
3) Glue the crucifix to a blank page
of paper and hang it above your desk.
4) Think about it–all day if you wish.
5) Peel an entire head of cabbage, carefully,
so as not to tear any of the leaves.
6) Sew the leaves together at the bottom ends
in a circular fashion, forming a “cabbage rose.”
7) Think, briefly, about the difference
between this “rose” and a “real” cabbage rose.
8) Think, all day if you wish, about why
we make such distinctions.
9) Peel an entire cabbage rose, carefully,
so as not to tear any of the petals.
10) Glue the petals together, forming
a faux head of cabbage.
11) Think about why we say
“a head” of cabbage.
12) Think, very briefly, about how close you are
to having a head of cabbage.
13) Think, at length, about why we say
that something or someone is “ahead of me.”
14) Tear the crucifix from the blank page
above your desk. The page should now
have a hole in the center where some
of the paper remained glued to the pencils.
15) Place the injured page on your desk, and, using
the crucifix, begin to write about any
or all of this.
16) Take as long as you wish.

April Ossmann