Asking for More

I am not asking to suffer less.
I hope to be nearly crucified.
To live because I don’t want to.
That hope, that sweet agent—
My best work is its work.
The horse I ride into Hell is my best horse
And bears its name.
So, friends, drink your cocktails and wear your hats.
Thank you for leaving me this whole world to go mad in.
I am not asking for mercy. I am asking for more.
I don’t mind when no mercy comes
Or when it comes in the form of my mad self
Running at me. I am not asking for mercy.

Sarah Manguso
Asking for More is from Siste Viator (Four Way Books, 2006).
Poem, copyright © Sarah Manguso, 2005
Appearing on the Fishouse with permission
Audio file, copyright © 2005, From the Fishouse