The Academic’s Prayer

Dear Search Committee,

                                    Having been footnoted

from here to McNeese State, I proffer my CV.

For years I edited the Journal of Diacritical

Uncertainty and know my regression curves

and data collection techniques.  I once believed—

way back, before I discovered Heisenberg,

fractals, Chaos Theory, when I was a boy

with a talent for unpacking the latent meanings

of See Spot Run and could quote delectable bits

of Stevens.  Make me tenure-track.  I can explain:

the streaking incident was after seven beers.

I’ve leered a little at first-years.  Provost of Mercy,

annotate me, lead me to sources , pray for me

now, and in the office hour of my death.

“The Academic’s Prayer” first appeared in Pleiades.